Seven Truths for Struggling Singles (part 1 of 7)

“The reason why so many in the church aren’t single is 

they aren’t strong enough or devoted enough. God couldn’t trust them.”

That's an amazing quote! 

I'll be honest - I had always thought (when I was single) that the reason I was unmarried was simple - God couldn't trust me!

• He couldn't trust me with more commitment;
• He couldn't trust me with greater affection;
• He couldn't trust me with the next season of life.

But, what if ...

• What if my season of singleness was less of a punishment, and more of a privilege?
• What is singleness was less of a curse, and more of a call?
• What if God was not showing His lack of trust in me, but rather was entrusting me with a great gift?

Could it be that many (perhaps you!) view their singleness through the wrong set of lenses? That their understanding of their season of life is more influenced by Disney than Jesus?

So, let's step back. Let's consider what God has to say to those who are currently single, often struggling, usually wondering, and eagerly seeking good answers.

Here is Part 1 of seven things to consider if you're single and don't want to be:

1. You can learn contentment.

... I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4. 11-13

I know you probably already know this, but ... singles often dream about being married, and those who are married often dream about being single!

We all struggle with discontentment! As I read recently, "No matter your lot in life, it seems as if you're always a dollar short of getting exactly what you want." How true!

And, if nothing else, this should remind us that contentment has less to do with our situation (single, married, short, tall, slim, heavy, athletic, nerdy, etc), and more to do with our hearts. 

In fact, the Bible has alot to say about contentment ...
 

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, 

and to which God has called him.

1 Corinthians 7. 17

But godliness when accompanied by contentment is of great gain.

1 Timothy 6.6

It would not be overstating the matter to say this - you cannot thrive in your Christian life without contentment.

But, for many, contentment is an issue. Maybe THE issue. Is it for you?

• Do you wonder if God has forgotten you and your needs?
• Do you find it hard to be satisfied with what God has given you now?
• Do you question whether God really knows what He's doing? 

Let me let you in on a secret. During my season of singleness, I was afraid of being content. That's right, afraid! You know why? Because I thought if I told God I was content with being single, then He'd conclude I didn't want to get married.

That's right. You see, for me discontentment was actually a badge of honor. It was a sign that I wanted something more, something better.

Little did I know how exposed my heart was at that moment! 

Here's the real issue - I didn't trust that God was good. I didn't believe that Jesus was enough for any season of life (no matter how long or short). I thought that God was looking for any opportunity to withhold good things from me (and, in my sin, I wasn't going to let Him!).

Consider these words from Paul Tripp:

As pseudo-sovereigns, we hate waiting, disappointment, obstacles, and failure ... It is bad enough to have to endure pain, but as a believer you must say that it was not an accident and that it was sent by a God who declares Himself to be good!

To us, often God's order looks like disorder, and His wisdom looks like foolishness. God's lovingkindness often seems to be anything but loving, and definitely not kind. All of this has to do with one humbling thing that we all have to admit: as sinners, we want our way. We want life to work according to our plan ... And we want this because we are more concerned about comfort and ease than we are about the processes of grace that are at work in us.

That's why Paul's words in Philippians are so helpful:

• We can be content. Anytime. Anywhere.
• We can learn to be content. Anytime. Anywhere.
• The key is resting in Jesus, who can strengthen us for anything. Anytime. Anywhere.

So, here are some questions for you - 

1. Are you striving to learn contentment?
2. What excites you more - getting what you think you want, or gaining what you really need?
3. Are you eager to be content, or do you regularly fan the flame of discontentment in your life?
4. Do you trust that you can be content (right here, right now) because Jesus is enough?

 He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, 

how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?

Romans 8.32