Let's face it, our culture (and our churches & fellowships) are full of them. We call them "men" but, in reality, they are "boys". That's right - boys in (sometimes) grown-up clothes.
They spend their days playing little games. Little games on the computer. Little games in relationships. Little games on their phones. Little games in their minds.
They have their grown-up toys, their grown-up diversions, their "adult" past-times, their little hobbies, their "men dens" (or playrooms).
It may be an addiction to computer games, an obsession with fantasy football, a preoccupation with the opposite sex, a longing for free time, a habit of "sleeping in". Oh, the list goes on and on and on ...
No one's going to catch me and make me a man!
I want to be a little boy and have fun!
Peter Pan
Whatever they (or you) may call it, anyone who understand God's call to manhood knows what it really is. Boyhood. Plain and (painfully) simple.
Psalm 51, written by King David after his disastrous relationship with Bathsheba, exposes the heart of man who has finally been rescued from boyhood.
As we study it briefly, consider this ...
Ladies - is this type of man you are looking for, or have you settled for a boy?
Men - do you long to grow up, and be the man God destined you to be?
Psalm 51
A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
8 Critical Differences Between A Man and A Boy
1. A boy thinks he is a natural hero; a man knows he is a rescued sinner.
While a boy loves to fantasize about his own greatness, a man has given up all illusions - he knows that he is a sinner, through and through.
Note the theme of verses 1-3 - "... my transgressions ... my sin ... I know my transgressions ... my sin is ever before me." What utter honesty! What courage! In a culture in which self-esteem is cherished, David pictures for us a man who has rejected the illusion of his own goodness. Rather, he begins with the humble admission of who he really is - a sinner.
2. A boy lives to please everyone (but mostly himself); a man understands that his primary audience is God.
The cry of a boy is familiar, "Who wants to play with me?", "Who wants to be my friend?" A boy plays and lives for whatever audience gains him the greatest applause and payback in the moment.
But verse 4 captures the focus of a man - "Against you, you only, have I sinned ... in your sight." Its clear, a man lives for one audience - God. He realizes that how he lives his life, how he conducts his day, how he interacts with others, what he dwells on with his mind, what he does with his hands ... all are done in the sight of God. One thought often occupies his thinking, "How can I honor God?"
3. A boy has honed the skill of blaming others and excusing himself; a man welcomes responsibility, accountability, and even blame.
Listen to a boy, and you'll hear it repeated all-too often, "Not me." "I didn't do it." "Wasn't my fault."
Note so with a man. Again, note the repetition in verses 1-3 - "my transgressions, my iniquity ... my sin ... I sinned ..." No blame-shifting here! No hiding here! David pictures a man from whom the illusion of self-righteousness has been stripped away, and in its place is utter, overwhelming (almost embarassing) humility.
4. A boy delights in playing games and having "fun"; a man delights in knowing truth and gaining wisdom.
A boy loves to be busy with trivial things. At the end of the day, he is exhausted from ... well, its often hard to tell!
But a man finds great delight, even joy, in maturity, learning, and growing. His eyes are on the things of God, and he longs for the next opportunity that God puts before him. As he does this, a man reflects God - "... you delight in truth ... you teach me wisdom." (vs. 6).
A man knows that we always do what we delight to do, and God has so worked in him that he delights in wisdom and truth. Therefore, nothing and no one can keep him from it.
5. A boy lives for happiness; a man labors for joy.
A boy lives for the moment. His goal is to be happy. It really doesn't matter how it happens, or how long it lasts, but he wants it. Now.
Verses 7-12 paint a radically different picture. As David was forgiven and freed from the temporary "happiness" of an adulterous affair, he discovered the lasting joy of salvation. "Restore to me the joy of your salvation." No longer were his emotions chained to the events surrounding him; rather, they were tethered to the reality of his standing before God. The fruit of this joy was stability in hard times, patience in affliction, and hope amidst discouragement.
6. A boy's life cries out, "Me!"; a man's life proclaims, "Others!".
A boy is concerned about ... being a boy. His days are spent on his pursuits, his interests, his passions. The ultimate test of any task or event for a boy - how did it make him feel?
Not so a man.
As David experiences the joy of his salvation, his immediate thought is for others. He declares (in verse 13), "Then I will teach transgressors your ways ..." As a godly man, David showed an eagerness to invest in others, not for his own gain, but because of what he had gained from the Lord. A man's energy is spent in pouring out his life in service to others.
7. A boy's words are quickly (and easily) forgotten; a man's words are precious and treasured.
Thomas Watson (a Puritan pastor) once wrote, "Most people talk the way a child scribbles - aimlessly." Ouch! When a boy talks, you often hope it will end quickly (and painlessly).
As David considered his words, he prayed, "O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise." (vs. 15) David longed to have his mouth full of God's praise, and the overflow of his tongue be words of life. A man knows that his greatest asset (and most potent weapon) is his tongue, and he longs for it to be used to bring healing, wisdom, and grace.
8. A boy finds great delight in boyhood; a man finds great delight in being a man ... of God.
A boy never wants boyhood to end. Weekends are always too short, summer vacations pass too quickly, games never seem to last long enough! Wahhh!
A man understands the wisdom and attraction of what Paul wrote ...
When
I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned
like a child.
When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
! Corinthians 13. 11
Though thankful to the Lord for the season of boyhood, a man realizes it had one overriding purpose - to prepare him for the future. And so to godly manhood he eagerly, humbly, and gratefully strains.
When David's time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord
your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his
commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the
Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn...
1 Kings 2. 1-3
Men, put away childish things! In a culture in which boyhood is celebrated and coveted, long for the things of God. Embrace maturity, strive hard after responsibility, labor at wisdom. Christ in you is the hope of glory (Colossians 1.27). Live in that reality!
And Jesus, the true and perfect God-Man, will, through the power of His cross and resurrection in your life, transform you and use you. Remember, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation - the old is gone, the new has come (2 Cor. 5.17).
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand!
All other ground is sinking sand!
Edward Mote (1834)
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